Talk about the “Space” from my personal experience

“Space”, a simple word. I don’t know when native speakers’ kids know this word. However, as a non-native speaker, I learnt this word at elementary school. I recognize this word mainly for 2 means: 1, The outside of the atmosphere. The famous company of universe exploring named SpaceX. 2, the area (normally vacant) you can put things in. And I would mainly talk about the second meaning.

 

In the former homework, we researched Cadogan and Morgenstern. They have similarities and differences. They are both immigrants, faced troubles in the USA. So they were thinking the definition to the “Space”, then turned to the definition to the “home”. They got these similar thoughts because their similar experiences, but they have divergences on the definitions to the space and home because o their difference details on the experience. Cadogan is black, while Morgenstern is white. So Morgenstern faced more sense of lonely, Cadogan encountered more serious negative stereotype and racist. So Morgenstern is finding a sense of belonging, he wanted know the USA and the German, which is his “home”? However, Cadogan feels tiring in the racist environment. He limits himself a lot, so he really expected a place could be real relax to him. Thus he got the definition to the home.

 

I’m inspiring from the 2 essays. So I will talk about my personal experience, and how the experience influences my definition and cognition to the “Space”. I born and grew up in China, I never expect I would left there one day. When I took “ZhongKao” in China, my grade is not ideal. So my parents made an important decision that would change my fate —— go to the international high school instead of normal high school or professional high school. During that time, my definition to the word “Space” is really narrow. Although I travelled other cities in China, go to the HongKong SAR of China, even visited the foreign country ——Maldives, I don’t spread my cognition. Because I don’t think I belongs to there. Yeah, I saw different culture and ancient buildings in other Chinese cities, but that’s not my hometown; HongKong is famous financial center, it’s really flourish. But its population is too density and the area is really noisy and busy. I don’t feel comfortable there; In Maldives, I firstly met black people —— the first human race besides Asian in my eyes. They are very passion, though the country is not developed. However, I feel less sense of belonging to Maldives.  I think I have same experience with Morgenstern. We don’t hate the USA & Maldives, but less belonging. One important reason why I don’t have sense of belonging is that I visit these places only for travelling. I don’t plan to live there for long time. However, to the US, it’s another situation.

 

As I mentioned before, I went to the international high school instead of normal or professional high school. By the way, although I take elementary, middle and high school education in one city, I moved home several times because of they almost located in different regions. Thus I don’t have very familiar neighbor peers. My parents are busy at work, so they have no time to drive me. I’m lonely on the way between home and school. I don’t gave may friends in the school, and my awful grade brings pressure from both parents and school sides. I’m lonely in school and home, while I feel pressure from parents and teachers. I thought the definition to the word “Space” for me on that time is somewhere I can temporarily to not be myself. I need an area to escape the reality and forget the life. Finally I contact the online. In that time, the computer performance is not very ideal like current. However, colorful flash games, plenty videos (self-made video is a new industry in China at that time) really attracts me. So I really appreciate that online gives me a free space in my most lonely time.

 

The time running fast. I am received the offer from UConn, which means I would be an undergraduate student in the university. Actually, I feel confusing at the beginning. Although I have relatives immigrant to the US and share with me some information of the US when the come back to China, I know nothing about the real US. And I came to the plane with confusing and scaring. Because western medias always attack China, Chinese medias seldom report the positive news from the US (US has advantage on the medical science maybe the most positive US news in China). I always heard the racist and violence from racial hate, school shooting, how serious Covid-19 in the US… Although I don’t want to judge the US from prejudice perspective, I was influenced by negative reports(That’s why I dislike most medias, whatever the Chinese medias or American medias. I think media shouldn’t have prejudice and give normal citizens the real information. However, doesn’t matter Chinese medias or American medias have severe political color. Both of them is the soft weapon of the governments). After the flying, I landed in the Los Angels. At that moment, I really fell I left my hometown. Blacks, Whites, Latinos… Many different human races mixed together. I don’t sustain in Los Angels for long time, take another plane to Boston, and my Aunts drove me to the UConn. Actually, I don’t face any racist here, all the classmates, teachers, University staffs and other village residents are very kind and passion. I enjoyed the life here. However, the experience in the USA is quite different to my former experience. I visit those place or country as the travelling, but my target is learning in the US. This is my first time live in the foreign country for a long time. From China to USA, left familiar environments to a unfamiliar place, say “good bye” to parents and go foreign country alone, all of these are big challenges to me. The new experience in the USA let me changed my definition to the space. I really want a place that can be myself. So my definition to the space maybe more close to Cadogan’s definition to the home, though my former definition may be closed to Morgenstern.

 

In the last, I think the definition of one word is changing. Different people with different experiences would give different answers to explain the same word. I claimed my former definition and current definition to the Space, but I can ensure this definition would change in the future. Since I will meet different people in different places and encounter different things.